5. Love Yourself Unconditionally!

I am just about to share with you the primary distinction to master in order to live a life of grace in the face of challenge and action.
But first let’s recap. If you have read the previous articles in this series, then these points are the groundwork that we’ve laid:
You’ve got to decide that you want to overcome stress… and that doesn’t mean going fishing in slow-motion everyday: it means that no matter how active your life is, or how much challenge you boldly accept, you choose to do it with the kind of serenity that is good for your body and mind.
Most of the stress that you experience is not your fault. There is no shame in the fact that most of us have been damaging ourselves with all sorts of tension. We live in a world that changes faster than humans can automatically adapt to. But, we’ve still got it in our power to overcome stress anyway!
Empower our journey away from clumsy tension by deciding deliberately what we want to experience instead of clumsy, nervous tension. What do you want? Happiness? Love? Invigorating feelings of positive excitement that nourishes your body? That is up to you.
A very good way of thinking of stress is responding to fear with clumsy tension. And a good way to get started responding with graceful, intelligent fear is to accept that you have fear and that fear itself is good.
And here we are! The primary distinction that you will master as you learn to master your fear and how you respond to challenges is to LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY!
I know that that is a big step! I know that it is easier said than done… which is why you will practice at it and meditate on it until you have mastered it, even if it takes you the rest of your life. Trust me, you will benefit.
People tend not to love themselves unconditionally. People tend to think that they have to achieve something or get something or look a certain way in order to be good and deserve love. It is really sad that people think these things… but they do. And they should stop. If they want to get a Master’s Degree, fine! Want a fancy car? Fine! But don’t think that you need these in order to have value as a person. Don’t think you have to win a game in order to deserve to feel good about who you are.
There is nothing that you could do that would make you good, cause you are already very, very good. You don’t have to wait until you accomplish something before you have the right to love yourself. On the contrary, loving yourself, your true self, will help you in your pursuits.
What does this have to do with stress? Well… the fact is, you’re still good, even if you get fired. You’re still good even if she dumps you for another woman (in this case, you know that it really WASN’T you). You’re still good even if you don’t get the thing in on time. When you really love yourself, you can accept what comes, cause you know that nothing could come about that would make you bad.
And there is a very likely connection for the infant–your inner infant–between the belief that you are loveable and the belief that you will be taken care of. And it really seems that NOT being well taken care of is the primary fear of the infant.
Conversely, therefore, it makes sense that the erroneous belief that you are flawed blows all of life’s normal fears out of proportion.
The answer is to love yourself, love that infant you once were that is still inside of you, hoping for your love.  Trust that you are good, even when things don’t seem to be going well, no matter what other people look like, how much money they have, or what they are doing to try to sell you something.

I am just about to share with you the primary distinction to master in order to live a life of grace in the face of challenge and action.

But first let’s recap. If you have read the previous articles in this series, then these points are the groundwork that we’ve laid:

First, you’ve got to decide that you want to overcome stress… and that doesn’t mean going fishing in slow-motion everyday: it means that no matter how active your life is, or how much challenge you boldly accept, you choose to do it with the kind of serenity that is good for your body and mind.

Second, most of the stress that you experience is not your fault. There is no shame in the fact that most of us have been damaging ourselves with all sorts of tension. We live in a world that changes faster than humans can automatically adapt to. But, we’ve still got it in our power to overcome stress anyway!

Third, empower our journey away from clumsy tension by deciding deliberately what we want to experience instead of clumsy, nervous tension. What do you want? Happiness? Love? Invigorating feelings of positive excitement that nourishes your body? That is up to you.

A very good way of thinking of stress is responding to fear with clumsy tension. And a good way to get started responding with graceful, intelligent fear is to accept that you have fear and that fear itself is good.

And here we are! The primary distinction that you will master as you learn to master your fear and how you respond to challenges is to LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY!

I know that that is a big step! I know that it is easier said than done… which is why you will practice at it and meditate on it until you have mastered it, even if it takes you the rest of your life. Trust me, you will benefit.

People tend not to love themselves unconditionally. People tend to think that they have to achieve something or get something or look a certain way in order to be good and deserve love. It is really sad that people think these things… but they do. And they should stop. If they want to get a Master’s Degree, fine! Want a fancy car? Fine! But don’t think that you need these in order to have value as a person. Don’t think you have to win a game in order to deserve to feel good about who you are.

There is nothing that you could do that would make you good, cause you are already very, very good. You don’t have to wait until you accomplish something before you have the right to love yourself. On the contrary, loving yourself, your true self, will help you in your pursuits.

What does this have to do with stress? Well… the fact is, you’re still good, even if you get fired. You’re still good even if she dumps you for another woman (in this case, you know that it really WASN’T you). You’re still good even if you don’t get the thing in on time. When you really love yourself, you can accept what comes, cause you know that nothing could come about that would make you bad.

And there is a very likely connection for the infant–your inner infant–between the belief that you are loveable and the belief that you will be taken care of. And it really seems that NOT being well taken care of is the primary fear of the infant.

Conversely, therefore, it makes sense that the erroneous belief that you are flawed blows all of life’s normal fears out of proportion.

The answer is to love yourself, love that infant you once were that is still inside of you, hoping for your love.  Trust that you are good, even when things don’t seem to be going well, no matter what other people look like, how much money they have, or what they are doing to try to sell you something.

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